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Eager To Please
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Post by Eager To Please » Sun Jul 31, 2005 12:41 am

A guy walks into a bar where he sees a sign that reads: "Free Beer".
He walks up to the bartender and asks for some of that free beer.
the bartender says he can have it after completing 3 tasks. they were
-Drink a jar of urine
-Pull out an aligators loose tooth
-Sexually please an 80 year old who wants to get laid before she dies

The man imidiatly refuses this offer. But later that night, he runs out of money, and is desperate for more beer. he tells the bartender that hell do the 3 tasks.
he slowly drinks the urine, and vomits multiple times while duing so.

He then proceeds into the closet in which the aligator is held. For about 30 minutes, the bartender is hears nothing but screams and struggles coming from the closed door. the drunk man then stagers out, bruised and cut. he topples onto the bar and says

"I want that beer! Now wheres the lady with the loose tooth??!!"[/list]
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twistinside1980
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Post by twistinside1980 » Mon Aug 01, 2005 12:51 am

ok I heard this on Opie and Anthony today. It's a variation of the dirtiest joke in the world preformed by south park characters. It's called the Aristocrats. there's no actual official version of it, everyone just alters it to make it as dirty as possible. so here is a link to it.. Please don't get offended. If it's too bad one of the mods can delete it.

http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsi ... ailers.php

once you go there look for the south park joke video it should be the last one in a list of about six.
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Rock
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Post by Rock » Mon Aug 01, 2005 1:23 am

twistinside1980 wrote:ok I heard this on Opie and Anthony today. It's a variation of the dirtiest joke in the world preformed by south park characters. It's called the Aristocrats. there's no actual official version of it, everyone just alters it to make it as dirty as possible. so here is a link to it.. Please don't get offended. If it's too bad one of the mods can delete it.

http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsi ... ailers.php

once you go there look for the south park joke video it should be the last one in a list of about six.
oh man thats just horrible funny but horrible
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twistinside1980
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Post by twistinside1980 » Mon Aug 01, 2005 8:20 am

there's a movie about that joke coming out this friday (I think). It's a documentary entitled "The Aristocrats" I think it's got about 60+ comedians in it.
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short black hair
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Post by short black hair » Mon Aug 01, 2005 1:58 pm

you guys should listen to: gorge lopez, he is awesome at telling mexican jokes. :D
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twistinside1980
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Post by twistinside1980 » Mon Aug 01, 2005 11:14 pm

I'm a huge carlos mencia fan. he's awesome
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short black hair
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Post by short black hair » Tue Aug 02, 2005 12:00 am

twistinside1980 wrote:I'm a huge carlos mencia fan. he's awesome
i never hear of him, but i'm sure i'll find something from him. :D
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twistinside1980
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Post by twistinside1980 » Tue Aug 02, 2005 12:39 am

watch his tv show "Mind of Mencia" on comedy central or go to www.carlosmencia.com to listen to a lot of his stand up routine.
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short black hair
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Post by short black hair » Tue Aug 02, 2005 1:19 am

twistinside1980 wrote:watch his tv show "Mind of Mencia" on comedy central or go to www.carlosmencia.com to listen to a lot of his stand up routine.
thanks twist. :D
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short black hair
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Post by short black hair » Tue Aug 02, 2005 1:20 am

Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer


1. Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser.
2. When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other.
3. Your lawyer picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
4. Your lawyer tells you that he has never told a lie.
5. A prison guard is shaving your head.
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EVERGIRL94
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Post by EVERGIRL94 » Thu Aug 04, 2005 9:25 pm

short black hair that was the best joke yet
my husbands family laywer fits that so well, but nobody has yet been to prison, thank God!! Lol!!
You make me hate what I see, when I see me.


If everything has been said and done, then why is nothing resolved or solved?

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twistinside1980
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Post by twistinside1980 » Wed Aug 10, 2005 12:00 am

Here's a sick little joke!

I heard this on Opie and Anthony this morning. It's actually a true story.

Bob sagat was on and he was saying that when his daughter was born she was premature and something about the epidural put his wife in a coma. one day his wife came out of the coma and he got to hold his daughter and his friend was standing with him and said. "That's a beautiful little girl" Bob Sagat doesn't remember saying it but he supposedly told his friend "I'll let you finger her for a dollar."

WOW he's a sick f*ck!!!!!
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short black hair
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Post by short black hair » Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:20 am

EVERGIRL94 wrote:short black hair that was the best joke yet
my husbands family laywer fits that so well, but nobody has yet been to prison, thank God!! Lol!!
i can get more laywer jokes. i'm going to make an revolution on lunch with my friends of jokes. by tomorrow i get some good ones. thanks for making me know that i'm making people laugh.
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Eager To Please
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Post by Eager To Please » Sun Aug 14, 2005 2:31 am

twistinside1980 wrote:Here's a sick little joke!

I heard this on Opie and Anthony this morning. It's actually a true story.

Bob sagat was on and he was saying that when his daughter was born she was premature and something about the epidural put his wife in a coma. one day his wife came out of the coma and he got to hold his daughter and his friend was standing with him and said. "That's a beautiful little girl" Bob Sagat doesn't remember saying it but he supposedly told his friend "I'll let you finger her for a dollar."

WOW he's a sick f*ck!!!!!
this is bob sagat A.K.A. danny tanner?
jesus christ!

i have heard that he is pretty dirty, and wasnt he the producer for "dirty Work"?
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twistinside1980
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Post by twistinside1980 » Sun Aug 14, 2005 8:01 am

Eager To Please wrote: wasnt he the producer for "dirty Work"?
The Same!!!!!! :D
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