jokes
- short black hair
- Posts: 1403
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- Location: phoenix
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The pope and a lawyer are on the elevator to heaven. When they arrive at the gates, there's a mad rush of angels, saints, and other holy people on their way to greet them.
When they arrive, they pick the lawyer up on their shoulders and carry him off cheering hysterically. The pope is deeply saddened.
St. Peter sees this and goes over to him and says, "Don't feel bad. We get popes in here all the time, it's not every day we get a lawyer."
When they arrive, they pick the lawyer up on their shoulders and carry him off cheering hysterically. The pope is deeply saddened.
St. Peter sees this and goes over to him and says, "Don't feel bad. We get popes in here all the time, it's not every day we get a lawyer."
- short black hair
- Posts: 1403
- Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2005 12:24 am
- Location: phoenix
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One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!"
Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?"
And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when he was finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls... You must be a lawyer."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!"
Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?"
And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when he was finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?"
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls... You must be a lawyer."
- twistinside1980
- Posts: 1760
- Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 5:02 pm
- Location: Knoxville, TN
ouch that was harsh, i know a few like that but im not sure if im ready to cross that line yet.
how do you tell the differance between a bad parachutist and a bad golfer?
the golfer goes WHACK - DAMN
a bad parachutists goes DAMN - WHACK
how do you tell the differance between a bad parachutist and a bad golfer?
the golfer goes WHACK - DAMN
a bad parachutists goes DAMN - WHACK
Spongebob is not a contraceptive -(Simpsons)
Flowers the painted whores of the plant world - Homer Simpson
Flowers the painted whores of the plant world - Homer Simpson
- short black hair
- Posts: 1403
- Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2005 12:24 am
- Location: phoenix
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January 12, 1993
San Francisco police arrested Russell C. Sultan in July and charged him with attempting to extort $23,000 from his mother and girlfriend by claiming to have been kidnapped for ransom.
After tracing telephone calls, police, guns drawn, burst into a motel room to find Sultan casually eating fried chicken and watching a 49ers football game.
Sultan said the kidnappers had merely left him alone for a while, and exclaimed to the officers, "What took you so long?"
San Francisco police arrested Russell C. Sultan in July and charged him with attempting to extort $23,000 from his mother and girlfriend by claiming to have been kidnapped for ransom.
After tracing telephone calls, police, guns drawn, burst into a motel room to find Sultan casually eating fried chicken and watching a 49ers football game.
Sultan said the kidnappers had merely left him alone for a while, and exclaimed to the officers, "What took you so long?"
- short black hair
- Posts: 1403
- Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2005 12:24 am
- Location: phoenix
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An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."
- EverclearGTFABA
- Posts: 1031
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- EVERGIRL94
- Posts: 366
- Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2003 8:44 am
- Location: Bradford, PA
- twistinside1980
- Posts: 1760
- Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 5:02 pm
- Location: Knoxville, TN
- twistinside1980
- Posts: 1760
- Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 5:02 pm
- Location: Knoxville, TN
here's a link for a practical joke. it's pretty funny. don't take offense SBH. 
http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=mexicano

http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=mexicano
Breathin' fire doesn't look good on a resume.
- the_laughing_world
- Posts: 1996
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- Eager To Please
- Posts: 1296
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- Location: JMU
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- short black hair
- Posts: 1403
- Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2005 12:24 am
- Location: phoenix
- Contact:
- twistinside1980
- Posts: 1760
- Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 5:02 pm
- Location: Knoxville, TN