Hungry and Hollow

So Much For The Afterglow (1997)

01: So Much For The Afterglow
This is a song about Susan
This is a song about the girl next door
This is a song about the everyday occurrences
That make me feel like letting go
Yes I think we've got a problem
So much for the afterglow
So much for the afterglow

This is a song about Susan
Yeah, this is a song about the way things are
This is a song about the scary things
You see from the corner of your eyes
Don't you wonder why?

We never talk about the future, yeah
We never talk about the past anymore
We never ask ourselves the questions
To the answers that nobody even wants to know
I guess the honeymoon is over
So much for the afterglow, so much for the afterglow
So much for the afterglow, so much for the afterglow

I remember we could talk about anything
I remember when we used to want to hang out
I remember we could talk about everything
I remember when we used to want to hang out
I remember we could talk about everything
I remember when we used to want to hang out
I remember when we used to want to hang out
I remember we could talk about everything
I remember, I remember, I remember

Yeah, we never talk about the future
We never talk about the past anymore
We never ask ourselves the questions
To the answers that nobody even wants to know

Oh well, oh well, oh well
So much for the afterglow
Oh well oh well oh well
So much for the afterglow
Oh well, oh well, oh well

Yes, I guess we need the drama

So much for the afterglow, so much for the afterglow
So much for the afterglow, yeah, so much for the afterglow
So much for the afterglow, so much for the afterglow
So much for the afterglow, so much for the afterglow
So much for the afterglow, so much for the afterglow

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02: Everything To Everyone

You put yourself in stupid places
Yes I think you know it's true
Situations where it's easy to look down on you
I think you like to be the victim
I think you like to be in pain
I think you make yourself a victim
Almost every single day

You do what you do
You say what you say
You try to be everything to everyone
You know all the right people
You play all the right games
You always try to be
Everything to everyone

Yeah you do it again
You always do it again

You say they taught you how to read and write
Yeah, they taught you how to count
I say they taught you how to buy and sell
Your own body by the pound
I think you like to be their simple toy
I think you love to play the clown
I think you are blind to the fact
That the hand you hold is the hand that holds you down

You do what you do
You say what you say
You always try to be everything to everyone
You know all the right people
You play all the right games
You always try to be everything to everyone

Spin around and fall down, do it again
You stumble and you fall
Yeah why don't you ever learn
Spin around and fall down, do it again
Yeah, you stumble and you fall
I wonder if you will ever learn

Why won't you ever learn

Come on now, do that stupid dance for me

You do what they tell you to do
You say what you say
You try to be everything to everyone
You jump through the big hoop
You play all the right games
You try to be everything to everyone

Spin around and fall down, do it again
You stumble and you fall
Yeah you do it again
Spin around and fall down, do it again
You stumble and you fall

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03: Ataraxia (media intro)

"Today, medical science recognizes that some folks aren't helped by relaxing exercises. In cases of difficult tension and nervous apprehension, doctors are now prescribing medicine. It makes those who fear their about to 'quit' feel like their ready to 'begin'. Bidding their darkened spirits good-bye for the calming peace of a cloudless sky."

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04: Normal Like You

They said you called me maybe yesterday
I don't even have the strength to pick up the phone
Wouldn't even know me since you went away
The prozac doesn't do it for me anymore

You ought to take your medication everyday
Be a good dog, live life in a wonderful way

Tell me why you want to be blind
I don't want to be normal like you
I know now, everyday
I get closer
To the place inside where I can be normal too

I heard those stupid people talk about you again
I just have to laugh to keep from hurting bad
Their simple minds just cannot seem to understand
You are neurotic and depressed
It doesn't mean that you're sad

You walk around oblivious to everything
You wear that party dress and black mascara
Like you're queen for the day

Tell me why you want to be blind
I don't want to be normal like you
I know now, everyday
I get closer
To the place inside where I can be normal too

I will never be normal like you
You walk around oblivious to everyone
I see you walking slow and simple
Underneath the big black sun

Tell me why you want to be blind
I don't want to be normal like you
I know now, everyday
I get closer
To the place inside where I can be complacent

Yes, I get closer
To the place inside where I can be sedated

Yes, I get closer
To the place inside where I can be normal too
Where I can be normal like you
Maybe normal like you
I can be normal like you

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05: I Will Buy You A New Life

Here is the money that I owe you
So you can pay the bills
I will give you more
When I get paid again

I hate those people who love to tell you
Money is the root of all that kills
They have never been poor
They have never had the joy of a welfare Christmas

I know we will never look Back

You say you wake up crying
Yes and you don't know why
You get up and you go lay down
Inside my baby's room

I guess I'm doing OK
I moved in with the strangest guy
Can you believe he actually thinks
That I'm really alive

I will buy you a garden
Where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car
Perfect shinny and new
I will buy you that big house
Way up in the west hills
I will buy you a new life
Yes I will

Yes, I know all about that other guy
The handsome man with athletic thighs
I know about all the times before
With that obsessive little rich boy

They might think you think you're happy
Yeah maybe for a minute or two
They can't make you laugh
No they can't make you feel the way that I do

I will buy you a garden
Where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car
Perfect shinny and new
I will buy you that big house
Way up in the west hills
I will buy you a new life
I will buy you a new life
Yes I will

I know we can never look Back

Will you please let me stay the night
No one will ever know

I will buy you a garden
Where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car
Perfect shinny and new
I will buy you that big house
Way up in the west hills
I will buy you a new life

I will buy you a garden
Where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car
Perfect shinny and new
I will buy you that big house
Way up in the west hills
I will buy you a new life

I will buy you a new life
I will buy you a new life

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06: Father Of Mine

Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
You know I just closed my eyes
My whole world disappeared
Father of mine
Take me Back to the day
When I was still your golden boy
Back before you went away

I remember blue skies
Walking the block
I loved it when you held me high
I loved to hear you talk
You would take me to the movie
You would take me to the beach
You would take me to a place inside
That is so hard to reach

Father of mine
Tell me where did you go
You had the world inside your hand
But you did not seem to know
Father of mine
Tell me what do you see
When you look Back at your wasted life
And you don't see me

I was ten years old
Doing all that I could
It wasn't easy for me
To be a scared white boy
In a black neighborhood
Sometimes you would send me a birthday card
With a five dollar bill
I never understood you then
And I guess I never will

Daddy gave me a name
My dad he gave me a name
Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name

Daddy gave me a name
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name

Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
I just closed my eyes
And the world disappeared
Father of mine
Tell me how do you sleep
With the children you abandoned
And the wife I saw you beat

I will never be safe
I will never be sane
I will always be weird inside
I will always be lame
Now I'm a grown man
With a child of my own
And I swear I'm not going to let her know
All the pain I have known

Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My dad gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
Then he walked away
Then he walked away

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07: One Hit Wonder

Loopy says he likes it up on top
Yes he knows if he ever lets go
The pretty machine will swallow him whole
He has no fear, he has no sense of shame
He will not stop until everybody everywhere
Wants to know his name

The one hit wonder, he likes the big time
He says he wants to live the kind of life
That will make the folks Back home
Bitch and whine

He knows if he ever even gets the chance
He'd sell his soul to make the monster dance
They can't hurt you unless you let them

Loopy says he sure does like the good life
Yes he knows all those women who scheme
Are just pretty pictures in the pretty machine

He knows if he ever gets to try
He will bite down hard to make the monster cry
He knows if he ever even gets a chance
He'd sell his soul to make the monster dance
They can't hurt you unless you let them

I will say it again
They cannot hurt you unless you let them

Loopy says he likes it up on top
He prays to god and he hopes like hell
That the pretty machine they will never fail

He has no fear, he doesn't really even have the time
He knows that the world is in love with the pretty machine
Oh yeah, the pretty machine

The one hit wonder, he likes the big time
He wants to live the kind of life
That will make the folks Back home
Scream bitch and whine

He knows if he ever gets to try
He will bite down hard to make the monster cry
He knows if he ever even gets a chance
He'd sell his soul to make the monster dance
He knows if he ever even gets to play
He will stomp like god to make the monster say

They can't hurt you unless you let them
They cannot hurt you unless you let them
They can't hurt you unless you let them
They cannot hurt you unless you let them

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08: El Distorto de Melodica

Instrumental

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09: Amphetamine

She came out west to find the sun
She lost her name but found a new one
Amy goes to school all day
But at night in the neighborhood
They call her amphetamine

She is perfect in that fucked up way
That all the magazines seem to want to glorify these days
She looks like a teenage anthem
She looks like she used to be happy
With the girl inside

She looks so bored sometimes
She has that super pale skin and those soft green eyes
She looks like she could have been happy in a better life

She came out west just to break away clean
From her family and her friends
Just a little girl's dream
All she wants to do every night
Is sit beside my window and listen to the sirens

She is perfect in that fucked up way
That all the magazines seem to want to glorify these days

She looks like a teenage anthem
And she looks like she should have been happy
In another life

In another life, ooh, in another life
Yeah, in another life

She came out west just to break the spell
After three long years in a marriage from hell
Six months clean, living sober and right
The doctors tell her everything will be all right

Yeah you just take your pill
And everything will be all right
Yeah you just take your pill
And everything will be all right

She looks like a teenage anthem
She looks like a magazine girl
She looks like a teenage anthem
Like she used to be happy in another world

She looks like a teenage anthem
She is happy with the girl inside
She looks like a teenage anthem
And looks like she could have been happy
In another life

In another life, happy in another life
Ooh, in another life, happy in another life
In another life, happy in another life

Met her at a party and I took her home
She is the saddest girl that I have ever known
She wakes me up in the middle of the night
Just to tell me everything will be all right
Amy smiles at me and tells me everything will be all right
Yeah, Amy smiles at me and tells me everything will be all right

Yeah, I tell myself the same damn thing
Everyday
Everything will be all right
Ooh, everything will be all right
Everything will be all right

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10: White Men in Black Suits

I am just a boy working in a record store
Yes I moved to San Francisco
Just to see what I could be

I am a loser geek
Crazy with an evil streak
Yes, I do believe there is a
Violent thing inside of me

She is just a girl
She is doing what she can
She dances topless
When she's not playing in her band

Such a pretty girl, happy in an ugly place
Watching all the pretty people
Doing lots of ugly things

I think it's getting better for the two of us
Yes I think it's getting better almost everyday
I could give a damn for what those people say

All I want to do is lose myself in your room
All you want is just a slow fuck in the afternoon
I still see those scary guys when I am all alone at night
I kiss the ring you gave me, then I swing with all my might

I think it's getting better for the two of us
I think it's getting easier for you and me to agree
That the white men in the black suits
They are diminishing
Yes I think they are diminishing
Yes I think they diminish you
And they diminish me
I think they are diminishing
You know sometimes I hear those people say

Yeah she takes a bus over to the northside of the city
She goes to work, stripping for the rich white men
All the words they give her make her feel so soft and pretty
She wears them but they never ever seem to fit

Yes I think it's getting better for the two of us
Yes I think it's getting better in the worst way
I refuse to be afraid of almost anyone
Afraid of all the things they do or the words that they say
Let's live the way we want to live and hope they go away

I really hope they go away
I really hope they find a nice place
I hope they find it somewhere
I hope they go away

I can still hear all those people say

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11: Sunflowers

I know where you go when you want to fall
Why do you want to be broken?
I know where you go when you want to fall
Yes your friends they tell me everything

Yes I know where you go
Yes I know what you do
Yes I know the awful things you say
And who you say them to
Yes I know where you go
Yes I know what you do

I know how you feel you get crazy inside
They say it runs in the family
I know just how you feel when you get crazy inside
Your mom she said that you are just like me

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your shaky hands
Guess I think you think I'm stupid
You don't think I understand
Guess I see you when I see myself
When I was a younger man

When you were a child
You were happy and free
You were my reason to live
I would die when you smiled at me
I can still see you
I remember you painting
Sunflowers in your room

I know where you go when you want to fall
Hey don't you want to be happy?
I know where you go when you want to fall
Your useless friends they tell me everything
Everything

I see you run around in circles
I see you digging your own hole
I see you fight the fights you just can't win
I see you losing self control
What it does to me deep down inside
I hope you will never know

When you were a child you were happy and free
You were my reason to live
I would die when you smiled at me
I can still see you painting flowers on the wall
I remember you happy, I remember it all

When you were a child you were happy and free
You were my reason to live
I would die when you smiled at me
I can still see you, I remember you painting
Sunflowers in your room
Sunflowers in your room
Sunflowers in your room

All I want to remember
Pretty pictures on the wall
I remember you happy, I remember it all
All I want to remember
Sunflowers in your room
Sunflowers in your room
Sunflowers in your room

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12: Why I Don't Believe in God

I heard the truth about you
And it really doesn't read at all
Like the whipping stick you raised me with
A scared woman in a private hell
Hushed voice like electric bells

Strange talk about Edgar Casey
And the long lame walk of the dark 70's
Strange talk about Edgar Casey
And the long lame walk of the dark 70's

I heard the truth about you, yeah you
Mama they woke me up
I was deep in an idiot sleep
I was just eight years old
Heard big words with a horrible sound
Why'd they have to call my school
Tell me my mother had a nervous breakdown

I wish I believed like you do, yeah you
In the myth of a merciful god
In the myth of a heaven and hell
I hear the voices you hear sometimes
Sometimes it gets so much
I feel like letting go
Sometimes it gets so hard
I feel like letting it go
Sometimes it gets so goddamn hard
I feel like letting it all go
Letting it all go, letting it all go
Letting it all go, letting it all go

I ran away and went looking for you
Back to Culver city and the old neighborhood
Need to know if you were really gone
Need to know if you were gone for good
I ran through the projects at night
Hide in the dark from my friends in the light
Hide from my brother-in-law
Hide from the things he'd say
Said you weren't losing your mind
He said you just needed a rest
He said you'd be coming home soon
He said the doctors there would know what's best
Said that maybe I could go live with dad for a while

I know the truth about you, I know the truth about you
I know the truth about you, I know the truth about you
I know the truth, I know the truth, I know the truth
I know the truth about you

Mama they woke me up, I was just eight years old
Sometimes it gets so hard, I feel like letting it go
Sometimes it gets so hard, I feel like letting it all go
Letting it all go, letting it all go

Yeah, letting it all go

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13: Like a California King

I see you have made yourself a brand new life
Such a cool blue star with a bright new shine
I see you wear your checkered past
Just like a shining suit of gold
I know you think you look so special

I am told you have found yourself a brand new time
Watch the world stand still as years go by
I know you think you are so new and different
But it makes no sense to me
There is nothing new about you
Just another self-made man
There is nothing new that I see
Enjoy it while you can
I know you think you look so special

What makes you think you are so special?
What makes you think you are unique?
I see you smile and I get angry
As I watch you go colossal
Like a California king

I hear you gave the world a brand new voice
Such a happy melody with a new wave whine
Yeah I see you hide behind your own noise
I think we've seen enough

I will find you in the crowded room
I will knock you off your feet
I will burn you just like teenage love
I will eat you just like meat
I will break you into pieces
Hold you up for all the world to see
What makes you think you are better than me?

What makes you think you are better?
What makes you think you are so complete?
What makes you think you are the only one immune to falling down?
Why can't you see?
I see you fall and I get happy
I will watch you burn like fire
I will watch you burn like a California king

I will watch you burn like a California king

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14: Hating You for Christmas

Thanks for the Christmas card
I don't want to hear about your new job now
I don't want to hear about your new boyfriend
I don't want to hear about it all working out for you
No, I don't want to hear it now

I don't want to hear about your swinging new place
I don't want to hear how everyone thinks it's great
I just want to sit in our apartment and hate you
Yes, I will be hating you for Christmas

You can have the Christmas tree
Remember when we bought it at the store down the street?
Remember when I found that cheesy color wheel?
I don't want to think about the lights on your white skin
No, I don't want to think about it

I don't want to think about last year at your dad's
You said it was the best sex that we both ever had
I don't want to think about my face in your soft hair
I will be hating you for Christmas

I must be losing my mind
There's gotta be a better way to deal with the pain
There's gotta be a better way to deal with the hate
Wish that I could find some way to make you go away
Wish that I could have a drink and make you fade
I wish that I could have myself a drink and make you fade
I wish that I could have a drink and make you go away
Yeah make you go away
Wish that I could make you go away
I will be hating you for Christmas
Yeah I will be hating you for Christmas

Thanks for the Christmas card

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