Hungry and Hollow


Good Times with Greg
Good Times with Greg

The Taco Bell Mishap
by Gregory C. Hundemer

     So I had to be at Taco Bell® by 7:30pm to meet my blind date, and it was now 6:30pm, and there was a slight problem: I was still asleep. You see, what happened was late last night, I was spending the night alone (You could probably guess that I didn't have a girlfriend since I was going on a blind date the next day, or else I'd be one insensitive guy. I'd probably get slapped around a lot, and probably get know how irlfriends are. If they can't have you, no one will...sigh...), when I decided to have an all night Everclear marathon. Needless to say, I had passed out in about 10 minutes. I mean, what would you expect with 190 proof alcohol, or however much they put in there?

     But anyway, somehow I had managed to keep sleeping until about 6:45, and I had one killer hangover. So I drank my hangover cure, took a shower, got dressed, and showed up at Taco Bell®.

     And then I saw her: Tall, curvy, black hair, and all around damn sexy. And the outfit that she was wearing... Dark purple; low cut, but not too low, classy; sublime; everything was perfect. "Tammy?" I said, almost stuttered to her, which was the name of my blind date. "Yeah," she said. "Greg?" "Yeah," I said. I had a pretty good idea that she was thinking the same thing about me that I was thinking about her, but then she said, "Why the hell aren't you dressed up?" Then I looked at my clothes, and the word "Crap" came to mind. How could I have worn my street clothes to Taco Bell®, the finest of all the eating establishments? God, here I was with the most beautiful woman I had probably seen in my entire life, and I blew it because I had worn my street clothes to Taco Bell®. I mean, fudge. I suppose the hangover was worse than I thought.

     So to make a long story short, our date lasted about as long as the time I said "Tammy" to the time she said "Why", and I went home empty handed. Oh well, I thought to myself, at least I have my Everclear. So the next day at around 6:45 once again, after the hangover cure, I called up Tammy. "Tammy," I said when she answered the phone, "I'm sorry. I was stupid last night. You are as radiant as the sun to me. Please, if you have it in your generous heart to give me another chance, I promise it will be worth her while." "That's very nice," Tammy said, "but I'm not Tammy. I'm her sister Julia." "Oh," I said. "Well could you put Tammy on?" So she put Tammy on and I told her what I had unknowingly told Julia. Tammy thought it over for a moment, and then said, "Sure, okay. How about tomorrow night at <i>Le Restaurant</i>? There's somewhere you can wear your street clothes." "Cool," I said. "Sure. Thanks."

     And trust me. It was worth her while, because now we're happily married, and we don't even go to Taco Bell® unless to reminisce about times past. What a great girl.

Check out the rest H&H's columns section. You can read more of Greg's writtings here.

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