Since Hungry & Hollow first opened in 1997
I've gotten a lot of e-mails from fellow fans saying they like
my site. All I can say to that is thanks. However, a couple
of these people have also asked me why I run this site. Well,
let me tell you that the answer to that is simple: fame and
Sure Everclear is great and all, but when it comes
right down to it, we all know why people visit this site
That's right, me. Eric Keown. The greatest Everclear fan site
Webmaster ever. I am bigger, I am badder, and I am better than
you. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about
from being god's gift to the female species, and the best damn
Everclear Webmaster around, I'm also an example of superior
physical human prowess. Athletic, intelligent, and gorgeous,
I am a true god among men. I only pity those of you who feel
intimidated by me. You can't help your inferiority; you were
just born that way. Not everyone can be dealt aces like me.
Besides if everyone else were as great as me, I wouldn't be
so great now would I? So consider yourself lucky to know such
a fine specimen of mankind such as myself.
I know by now you all know how great I am, but
a lot of you are probably wondering how I became so great. Well,
I really can't explain how, I was just born this great, but
I can show you a diagram to help you understand my greatness.
Take a look at this simple diagram I drew that shows a comparison
between me, and some other guy, but does not represent anything,
or anyone in any other way.
good-looking red haired guy represents me, and the shaggy-haired
fellow represents the other guy. The spider represents the World
Wide Web, which we both use as our form of media. The two girls
represent my fans (notice the other guy has no fans...I'm number
1!), and the dog represents my dog Brodie.
As you can see, the other guy is
afraid of me, as I am so much cooler and better, plus Brodie
is a killer, spiders are scary to him, and either girl could
most likely beat him down, but mainly because of the me being
so much cooler and better stuff. This means I am stupendous
and he isn't. I rule! Simple enough?
Be sure to check out the rest H&H's
columns section, which includes my
previous The Twistinside columns as well as columns written
by fans like you and I.
You are either reading my source code, have very good eyesight,
or have done the smart thing and copied this text into some form
of a text editor. Anyways, now that you've read my article and taken
it all in, I'd like you to do me a favor and take a look at the
logo for my column, The Twistinside...the one with the silly picture
of me (it was the worst picture I could find). While you look at
it, you should notice the words "the truth" appears in there a couple
of times. But each time the word is twisted, or stretched. You got
it? No? Let me explain. I'm LYING in this whole article. Well...not
really lying, I'm making a joke in my own weird way. I hope you
really didn't believe or get upset from what you just read, and
if you did, I'm glad you read this portion of the page. But then
again you are smart enough to have figured out a way to read this,
so you probably didn't take it seriously.
Look, I don't think I'm all that great, and I know people only come
to my site because of the Everclear resources I provide and not
because I'm so cool. I hope other webmasters know that too, particularly
those who use a 1960's slang word for their name. Your site does
not crush other fan sites, causing them to close (like you have
stated to people in the past). You are not the reason people come
to the site (but if you read the BB you might get that impression…people
need to quit stroking your ego). You cannot get so pissy if someone
complains to the band about your work. You are representing the
band's official page. If you do a job people aren't happy with,
expect some negative feedback. For god sakes man you are getting
PAID to do that page. Hell, I think I do a good job and this is
just a hobby for me, I actually have to pay to do this site (hosting,
domain ownership). I could only imagine what the site would be like
if I got any for of money for this. Now, I could put banners and
ads all over this site in order to make some money, but you know
what…I don't want to make money like that because I feel that would
be exploiting Everclear. Anyways, no hard feelings, just making
sure your ego was in check, and for god's sake put some fucking
content on that site!
Sorry, but I had to say that.