Hungry and Hollow


Are You Old School?

It seems a lot of people now a days are talking about who is "old skool" and who isn't. To that I want to say the word is school, S C H O O L, not skool...don't you know how stupid it makes you look to misspell words on purpose? I mean, we are forced to go to school in our early years for a reason, the least you should do is try to look intelligent. Abbreviating words by deliberately misspelling them makes you seem like you are one of three things; stupid, lazy, or both. Anyways, with proper spelling aside, the old school question is an interesting one.

As I just said I've seen a lot of people talking about this, which got me think about just who would be an old school fan. I remember in one instance someone said that if you bought So Much For The Afterglow before it went double platinum (12/24/1998) you were old school. For some reason I have a feeling that that particular fan bought his/her copy of the album around that time conveniently making them old school. However, I really don't think that is old school, especially since So Much For The Afterglow was released more then a year before that date (10/07/97). So I decided to make this checklist of things that would make you old school. Naturally I used questions the I, myself, could check off...therefore I am old school. Lets see if you are:

The old school Everclear fan checklist

___ You have seen Everclear in concert as a trio (i.e. no touring musicians).

___ You were a fan when it was Greg, not Craig, who dyed his hair.

___ You remember the time when Robert Smith, of the Cure, sang for a sick Art.

___ You know that Greg is a Scandinavian Oak Tree.

___ You, at one time, thought Santa Monica was a bit pop for Everclear.

___ You make me feel like a whore.

___ You, at one point, thought the official Everclear fan site (Liberty-Lyle) was cool.

___ You bought So Much For The Afterglow before is went Gold (01/20/98).

___ You owned Sparkle & Fade and World Of Noise before you owned So Much For The Afterglow.

___ You were a fan when Everclear was proclaimed by many to be the new Nirvana, and the next big thing in rock.

If you answered yes to at least 6 of these 10 questions you are old school. If you saw Everclear with Scott, or were into them before the signed with Capitol you are older than school. If you remember Robert Smith singing for Everclear than you are a liar, and I kindly ask you to leave my site and never come back. Robert Smith never sang with Everclear. If you checked that you make me feel like a whore, then you are mistaken...I've never felt like a whore, sorry.

So, now you know whether you are old school or not. Now what? Nothing, no big party, no prize, no cookie, nothing, nada. Being old school means absolutely nothing. That is, unless you want it to be...and if you do want it to mean something you are just trying to say that you are better then everyone else, because you discovered Everclear's music before others did (wow, Capitol's marketing plan got to you first!). All I'm saying is that if you love Everclear's music that is all that should matter, not how long you've loved it. And that's some advice you should remember from this old school fan!

Be sure to check out the rest H&H's columns section, which includes my previous The Twistinside columns as well as columns written by fans like you and I.! You are either reading my source code, have very good eyesight, or have done the smart thing and copied this text into some form of a text editor. Anyways, now that you've read my article and taken it all in, I'd like you to do me a favor and take a look at the logo for my column, The Twistinside...the one with the silly picture of me (it was the worst picture I could find). While you look at it, you should notice the words "the truth" appears in there a couple of times. But each time the word is twisted, or stretched. That implies that I have been lying! Well this time, just for once, ignore them because I'm being serious.
Being "old school" doesn't mean anything...It doesn't make you a better fan, it doesn't make you cool, and it doesn't make chicks dig you. Now for me on the other hand, it does. I am a better fan, I am cooler, and chicks do dig me...all because I'm old school! Just joking. I was just born a better fan, who is cool, and chicks dig. Again, I'm just joking...I'm just a regular person no better or worse than anyone else. Anyways back to my point. Being old school, new school, or any other type of school isn't important, what is important is that you enjoy Everclear's music and can talk with your fellow Everclear fans without trying to out do them. Got it? Good. I hope you took good notes on this, because there will be a test over this material at a later date. Goodbye.
P.S. I can't believe I actually did a column without inserting some sort of picture...perhaps this is a sign of the upcoming apocalypse!
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